CONGRATULATIONS!
You Completed Your 7 Day Bootcamp!
Over the last 7 days we have taken you on a powerful, vulnerable, and beautiful journey to understand how YOU can shift your anxious attachment style when you start considering a ‘BioPsychoSocial’ approach to healing.
By making friends with your biology, becoming curious and compassionate about your psychology, and through assessing the state of your social connections around you, we can start understanding why our body reacts in the way it does and how we can work with it to create a new state that becomes your consistent, safe and secure home base.
With the toolkit we have gone through this week, you can start to rewire your body’s responses and we are so excited for you to continue this journey to create your new state.
Your NEW 13 steps to secure
Welcome to your new anxious attachment cycle - one where you utilize your biology and your psychology to start coming home to yourself in the most stressful moments.
The next time that you feel yourself having a wobble, follow the following steps:
Triggered? Acknowledge that your nervous system has been dysregulated.
Acknowledge that this dysregulation is a biological response to a potential threat in your environment. Ask yourself - is this person a safe person or social connection for me? Should I be entertaining this individual or allowing them access to dysregulate my nervous system?
Acknowledge you are not your biology or your biological responses- but identify how and where you feel this reaction in your body. Acknowledge that you are not 'your biology’ and that this chemical cocktail of neurotransmitters and emotions will pass.
Identify the ‘real fear’ beneath the threat - “I thought I am scared of X but my real fear is Y…”. Connect to your inner child in this moment and acknowledge how they feel and what they need (and probably what they needed when they were much, much younger too).
Start your somatic shaking - begin to release the stress response in the body before it intensifies further. Keep going until you really feel like you have released the stored emotions inside of you. Let your body take you where it needs to go and let your emotions flow (whether you want to cry, laugh, shout, or more).
After shaking - enjoy the moments of calm in your nervous system. Commit to grounding back into your body, feeling the security of being IN your own body and feeling the peace of part of your stress response being completed.
At this point, commit to no protesting and no protest behaviors whatsoever.
Instead, write the “What I want to say is…” exercise and continue to move through the stress response. Allow your body to feel as if you are speaking to that person, almost giving it the cathartic release that it needs. Remember - do not send this message.
Go back to your “They love me because…” list. In this moment, remind yourself of the love and security from those around you and how you are worthy of love, consistency, respect, kindness, safety and stability and nothing less than than any of those things. Feel the love from the list & meditate into bringing this love and self-love back into your body - because this is the moment that you need it the most.
Wait 24 hours before sending any messages or making any phone calls to the individual in question.
For the remainder of the day, focus on YOU, YOU and MORE YOU (and your biology!). Bring yourself back to your own sense of self - remind yourself that you are a GOOD person and you are SAFE and SECURE and you are not deserting you in this moment.
Use meditation and breathwork (or more shaking) to keep the stress response moving through your body and to continuously commit to bringing your body out of ‘fight or flight’ and back into ‘rest and digest’
As the day progresses, continue to stay grounded in reality (that whatever happens, I will be okay) and continue self-soothe before getting a good night’s sleep (with a little shake and meditation before bed). Everything is never quite so bad the next day!
And remember - this is YOUR NEW cycle. The more you intentionally work to repeat this cycle, the more your biology will start to learn to respond in this way.
Welcome to the future of creating your state!
And that’s a wrap!
Did you take value from the Bootcamp? You can donate to say thank you!
Any donation big or small helps keep OPENHOUSE growing and helping everyone it comes into contact with. Should you wish to donate, thank you for your support!
Don’t want the journey to end? Want to go deeper into the BioPsychoSocial approach to healing with the OPENHOUSE therapists? Your journey doesn’t have to end here!
The following resources have been created to take you deeper into healing your anxious attachment style at the root.
Want to go deeper into topics covered in the 7-day bootcamp? These resources are for you:
1/ Deep Dive - Healing the Psychology of Your Anxious Attachment Style ft. Dr. Tari Mack
In this best-selling, 50-page, step-by-step, therapist-backed Guide, Dr. Tari Mack helps you understand the psychology of your anxious attachment style and how to better understand your own personal core wounds, limiting beliefs and more.
This 50-page PDF covers:
Deep dive into the core limiting beliefs that drive the anxious attachment style.
How and why the cycle is damaging for you and those around you.
Inner child work: Learning to protect your inner child in dating/partner choice while healing.
Pattern identification: Recognizing patterns that exacerbate the anxious attachment style.
Making friends with fear: How to identify and heal the real fear lying behind your cycles.
The concept of ‘positive intention’ and how scaffolding can help you move from stress to calm.
How to spot bad behavior that will exacerbate the cycle.
2/ Deep Dive: Healing the Biology of Your Anxious Attachment Style ft. Sarah Murphy
Want to go deeper to understand how you can use your biology to manage and heal your anxious attachment style? This Guide is for you and goes deeper into:
Step-by-step Morning & Evening Healing Routines to help rewire your attachment styles.
Supplement Recommendations: The 11 best supplements we recommend for optimizing your brain for new beliefs and calming your nervous system.
More ways to calm ‘amygdala hijack’ to prevent impulsive behavior that can push people away.
How to activate & oxygenate your prefrontal cortex for better emotional control and more logical reactions.
The importance of clearing deep-rooted trauma for better emotional stability and stress reduction.
A deep dive into why you need to increase vagal tone to increase calm and contentment.
Louise’s personalized self-soothing routine that she has used to heal her anxious attachment style personally.
3/ How to Communicate About Your Anxious Attachment Style ft. Dr. Tari Mack
If you've successfully navigated the initial weeks of dating, find yourself in the early stages of a relationship, or are already in a committed partnership but have yet to address your anxious attachment, this Guide is tailor-made for you.
It can feel like a hard conversation, but it doesn’t have to be.
Crafted by esteemed clinical psychologist and therapist, Dr. Tari Mack, this script provides you with precise guidance and invaluable insights, equipping you with the exact words and essential topics to broach when discussing your anxious attachment style.
Let us handle the heavy lifting for you, ensuring a gentle, compassionate, and lighthearted conversation with your significant other or the loved ones around you.
4/ Healing Your Abandonment Wound ft. Stephanie Therapy
Work with Stephanie Therapy to better understand (and heal) your abandonment wound, through:
A quiz to assess the severity of the wound and experience.
6 common ways that abandonment wounds are formed and how they are tied to your nervous system.
The six stages of the abandonment cycle.
The three main coping mechanisms people use to deal with an abandonment wound.
How to re-write your abandonment cycle.
The ‘This Feels Like When’ analogy.
And much, much more!
All of these resources will help you to:
Continue your healing journey.
Say goodbye to just being ‘an anxious person’
Finally stop responding hastily and irrationally.
Feeling anxious, triggered & panicked all the time.
Overthinking and cringing about things you say or do.
Feeling horrible when faced with silence.
All without:
Months of paying for expensive and often inaccessible 1-1 therapy.
The struggle of finding the right therapist for you.
Wasting your time jumping from one relationship to another, hoping that the next person will be “the one.”
